No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
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Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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