yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
false alarm. still invincible.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
