I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
