after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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