i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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