birth control should be required to get into college
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
