gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
