accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
