pedialite and red bull = repair kit
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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