You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
