Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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