I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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