I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
