I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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