Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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