Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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