Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
