I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
