He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
