Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
