She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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