I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
