Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
