Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
