Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
