Christians are straight up FREAKS
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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