it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
