Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
