so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
