wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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