Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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