I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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