And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
