I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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