I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
