I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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