Sry I called you an 8
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
