i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
