At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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