hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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