his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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