So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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