And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
