On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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