The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
