The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
