do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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