Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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