i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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