To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
