Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
