we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
