The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
