We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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