She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
