theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I could make wine with my vomit
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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