i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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